Anthony was just laid out in his hospice bed. I sat there, and I looked at his dead body, and I thought, “Why are we told to be so afraid of this?”
I just remember feeling like, “Wow! There’s no fear.” There’s this whole narrative about death and dead bodies, and it’s oh, so creepy, and gross, and scary. I just felt an incredible peace, and I sat down, and I started to meditate, and then our friend, Nicolas, the one who had buried his wife, he had also woken up. It was bizarre. It was 6:00 in the morning, 5:30-6:00 in the morning, and I never wake up early. He came in, and he didn’t say anything to me. He picked up a guitar and he started playing.
I just spent the rest of the day with my phone off as much as off as I could make it. I was like, “I know enough about fucking life at this point. I know that my only job right now is to feel this grief as deeply as I can. This is not something I want to defer or repress.” I spent the whole day crying. I went to Downtown Lexington. I went into Peet’s Coffee crying. I went up to get a coffee, crying. The guy behind the counter actually knew Anthony. He started crying. Everyone cried all day, but it felt really natural. It felt really normal.
Not to skip too far ahead, but it actually isn’t until now talking to you that I realize that that experience resonated right along with how I felt when I had a miscarriage. It’s the same experience. Also, that same feeling like I’ve been gypped by culture that no one told me that these things were so natural, and that we come equipped to deal with them, and that there’s nothing scary about it, and that you don’t need anyone to protect you from it, that actually taking it in is a lot better for you. The end!
Amanda Palmer, in her interview on the Tim Ferriss Show
This comes from the most raw, honest, and touching interview I’ve ever heard. I’m absolutely amazed by how the grace, gentleness, and incredible power with which Amanda and Tim discussed the most difficult topics on Earth. Do yourself a favor and listen to the whole thing here. I cried a lot, but it was a good and healing kind of crying.