Dream board

What’s the boldest dream that you can come up with?

What would you like to experience?

What do you want to create?

In what ways would you like to grow?

What physical objects would you like to see in your life?

I meditated a bit on all of these questions, then created a collage of everything that came up. It’s not something I’d normally choose to do, but I was already in this kind of workshop, and decided to go all in and see what I can learn.

If there’s any merit to cutting pictures out of lifestyle magazines and gluing them together on a dream board, it’s in being honest and straightforward about what you want. It brought all sorts of emotions I didn’t quite expect to feel, and it was quite interesting to observe them.

Adding some things to the dream board I felt quite stupid and vain, like I should be above wanting to go to festivals and to buy nice and expensive things. I can already imagine what my mum would say seeing this. Surely this is not what a true spiritual seeker would do…

Some others things felt way too personal to put them out in light. Just as if saying publicly that I want a child would somehow make me incapable of ever having one. Just as if I should keep it secret, or otherwise someone will use this knowledge to hurt me.

Usually when someone makes worried comments about how I “shouldn’t put off having kids for too long”, I reply with how they should mind their own business and change topic. It doesn’t make any sense. Instead of getting pulled into this weird game of snarky comments I should be able to just say that I do want a kid, even if it cracks me up and I end up crying. What’s wrong with crying? Do I really need to pretend to protect myself from this?

When everyone is playing half-seriously with the same colorful magazines, it’s easier to admit it to myself that I do want to have kids, crazy festivals, fame and fortune, and there’s no reason to pretend otherwise.

Getting these things out of my head and onto paper loosened their grip over me. There’s nothing to be ashamed of, nothing to make a big fuss about. This is who I am at this point in time.

I’d show you a photo of my dream board, but I don’t even have it with me anymore. It’s done the job. I wouldn’t want to put it in a prominent place and visualise myself achieving these things.

Quite the opposite. Seeing my dreams pictured clearly on paper made me realise that none of these things is ever going to fulfil me.

Yes, I still want to have children and yes, I still want to make a dent in the Universe.

But I can also stop making such a big fuss about it.

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