There’s a voice in my head that says I should be doing more. She knows I am capable of this. She accepts no excuses. If I could give my 200% consistently a few months ago, what’s stopping me from doing it now?
But infinite exponential growth is not a thing in nature. After time of growth comes time of harvest. After blooming comes fall. After shining, darkness.
I am pretty sensitive to seasonal mood swings and always found this time of year quite challenging. Most days are dark enough that I work with lights on even around noon. Most nights are long and chilly. It will be like this until early March.
But instead of fighting this drop in energy, I’ve decided to welcome it with open arms. That’s December, baby. If I feel like sleeping, let me sleep. If I feel like resting, let me rest. If I barely accomplish anything at work, so be it. No need to rush anything, no need to force it.
I am a bear, and nature calls it’s time for hibernation. Now is the time to rest, to recover, to recollect all I’ve learned over the whole year, to make plans for the next.
Even if I’m not giving my 100%, this is enough.
Even if I’m not giving my 100%, I am enough.