Quality life starts with quality questions.
No matter how tough it is, I still get to choose what questions I ask myself, what I focus on, in what direction I push my internal chatter.
There are questions that always lead to nowhere.
Why can’t I normally get out of bed in the morning like every sane human being?
Why do I always have to fuck everything up?
Why is everyone disappointed with me?
Why doesn’t she ever listen to me?
Why does he have to be such a pain?
Any answer I could possibly come up for those with will only make me feel miserable, upset, disempowered, judgemental, or worthless.
Good questions, on the other hand, bring clarity to what I can do, things under my control, the options that I do have.
What’s the smallest step I can take to move myself forward?
How would this look like if it was easy?
Who can help me with this?
What would I tell a friend who had the same problem?
What’s the lesson in it?
I don’t feel like getting out of bed at all. What’s the lesson in it? Maybe I expect so much of myself that even the best thing ever turns into a pesky chore to check off my todo list?
I jump between Twitter and Facebook instead of getting down to work. What’s the lesson in it? Maybe there’s too many conflicting expectations from different people that I don’t really know what’s the right thing to do?
I have a few dozen friends I haven’t replied to in ages. What’s the lesson in it? Maybe I could just show up as who I am at that moment rather that trying to come as that perfect version of myself who is never around when I need her?
I get upset when a random stranger criticises me online. What’s the lesson in it? Maybe a part of me believes in the things that they wrote, even when I understand it logically that it’s bullshit?
If I choose to focus on the lesson rather than on blame, even the most unpleasant experience can bring about good things. I don’t think I’ll ever look forward to those, but not running away from them is already huge progress.