Everything is a tradeoff

I have insanely high expectations when it comes to my own work. If something can be improved, then it should be improved, period. As a kid I was expected to max every grade and every exam or to win every competition, and more often than not, I actually did. I left school ages ago, but […]

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Start in the middle

Reminder to self: I don’t need to solve every problem the moment I encounter it. It’s logical to focus on easy wins first and figure out the rest as I go. Yet for some reason I tend to get stuck at the most inconsequential things, and keep spinning my wheels till I get them right. […]

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Saving the world

My brother asked me today how I’m going to save the world. He was shocked to hear that I have no such plans. The world has been doing perfectly fine without me for billions of years. I’m sure it’s going to do perfectly fine when I’m gone. I came out of this world. I am […]

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Uncanny

— So, you see — said the dog behaviorist once we described the situation. — If she’s terrified of cars but still goes on to bark at them and attack them, this means that she doesn’t know how to seek for help. Even when she’s overwhelmed with stress, she feels like she has no choice […]

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Rabbit hole

Baby ducklings following their mom in park.A lightbulb.Logistics of a fast food chain supply.Photo of a place you’ve never been to. Every single little thing can be a starting point of a long journey and discovery. How does a lightbulb actually work? How do baby ducks recognize their mom among all the other ducks? How […]

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Empty page

Nothing to do.Nowhere to go to.No one to be. Nothing to talk about. So many parts of me fell apart in the last few months. Dreams, goals, hopes, visions, plans, ideas, ideals, identities, achievements, preferences, rules to live by, random nuggets of wisdom. None of these were probably mine to begin with. They all seem […]

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Keep dancing

I get into the boat. The water immediately gets violent and stormy. Black clouds come out of nowhere, the shore is suddenly out of my reach. Tall waves crash onto the boat and rock it in every direction. I see my parents in the water, barely keeping their heads above the surface. They’re shouting at […]

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Even more questions

Rather than rewriting my story daily, I spent the last few weeks taking it apart instead. Every day I’d take an honest look inside, pick some scary old story that triggered me in some way, then journal about it in private until I wasn’t afraid anymore. The more I did that, the less I felt […]

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May I

May I always choose to go all in, with all the courage and gratitude I can muster. May I remain soft and gentle, no matter what I find inside. Given the choice between a great story and truth, may I always choose truth. When feeling lost and overwhelmed, may I choose to let go of […]

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