Tag: psychology
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Note to self: how to live with a slouchy potato
There’s something I must confess. I have a secret alter ego. Every now and then, the creative and passionate human being that I normally am turns into a slouchy potato. This doesn’t happen very often, but enough to become a nuisance. Slouchy potato doesn’t feel like getting out of bed in the morning, and doesn’t…
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To be afraid hardly means to be in danger
There’s so many things I haven’t done because of fear. There’s even more that I did after months or even years of procrastinating. Quitting an old job or starting a new one, asking someone out or breaking up, starting a new project or saying no to someone asking for a favor. At one point I…
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Follow the breath and let go
I learned so many incredible things during Apotheosis, that I’ll keep unpacking them for a few more days at least. Yesterday I wrote about how feeling sorry for people deprives them of agency. My next favorite one is that an emotion–a physical sensation in the body–lasts normally for just 15-30 seconds. I can already see…
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If you see suffering, don’t feel sorry
If you see someone go through a hard time, don’t feel sorry for them. It deprives them of agency. If you say you’re sorry, you’re saying they’re unable to deal with what is happening. People are much wiser and stronger than we think. They have the power to use whatever challenge they’re facing as a…
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Invest in the question
When you say you deeply care about something, what does it mean actually? Do you care about what you think is the best way to solve the problem? Or do you care about the question that brought you to that belief? The difference is subtle, but of great consequences. If you care about the question,…
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The vicious spiral of an ego trip
I had the weirdest experience a few weeks ago. I was listening to a smart, accomplished person talk about his latest projects when a wild thought ran across my mind. “Wow, this is so incredible! Why can’t I be like this guy?”. I tried to ignore the thought and come back to the conversation. However,…
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What would this look like if it were easy?
Sometimes I am my own worst enemy. Where other people see great work being done, I only see a few flaws that ruin the whole thing in my eyes. Where my team lead sees solid performance, I only see hours of procrastination. Where my friends and family see steady progress, I only see a haunting…
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What’s the lesson in it?
Quality life starts with quality questions. No matter how tough it is, I still get to choose what questions I ask myself, what I focus on, in what direction I push my internal chatter. There are questions that always lead to nowhere.Why can’t I normally get out of bed in the morning like every sane…
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If you’re going through hell, keep going… A few thoughts on depression and hope.
I never really talked about this publicly because it’s painful, and embarrassing, and super crazy scary. Only a few years ago I got to believe that people might genuinely like me. I didn’t want to ruin this by saying something that will make everyone think I’m too toxic and emotionally unstable to be a sort…
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How serious are you?
When I say I want to write a new article for my favorite kids’ magazine, is it the writing that I actually want? Or the warm pride and satisfaction that comes at the end of it? If it’s the former, why do I spend so much time procrastinating, scrolling Twitter, reading a twentieth random article,…
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